Half Agony, Half Hope

• This poem refers to my phobia of blood and tries to replicate the act of passing out and how you are almost trapped in your own mind and struggle to get out
• I originally called the poem ‘A Forest of Red and Blue’, linking to the fact that veins and arteries on diagrams are usually presented in these colours, however, I received feedback suggesting that this was unclear and I should have a title that helps the reader to understand the poem more, which I agreed with

A Forest of Red and Blue – 1st Draft (06/11/20)

• The feedback I received on this draft noted how the ending was bold but good as it gets more and more confused and then abruptly goes black. It was also suggested that ‘necessary to life’ was a bit bulky and out of place, and ‘flashing in my mind’ was already clear from the ‘Red! Red!’ which are also areas that I worked on.

The Red Forest – 2nd Draft – 25/11/20:

• I received a second round fo feedback on this poem with suggestions to take out certain words in order to speed up the pace (highlighted yellow). I cut out some further lines that I felt were unnecessary, and added the idea of the labyrinth and mind-games alongside the medical imagery in order to make the meaning more clear and to build the significance of the colour red in the poem.

Final Draft (09/12/20):

• I again cut out small lines and rearranged the placement on some lines in the final draft. I also added the line ‘Toenails cutting into hard-rubber shoes’ relating to the odd things you become aware of when you are feeling faint, as well as the fact that it is an unpleasant image.